Anyway, on a positive thought, I’m going to get really fucking high in a bit .
he texted me saying that he thinks hes going to die soon because he’s been way too happy lately and he thinks his death will be because he’s going to save someone, be heroic.
me: “you deserve to be happy, i know it’s a strange concept and feeling but you deserve to be happy. “
me: “please be careful, think of yourself on the same level as others, you’re just as important Cole. you mean a lot, i don’t want the person you got yourself killed for, i want you”
things got quiet and we stopped talking for a while so i told him
me: “ive missed talking to you…..even if we argue over stupid things…..i rather argue with you then laugh with another”
he asked why
me: “if it came down to it, i could kill someone for you despite how scared and terrified i would sure as hell be. like you’re that one person, the one person people talk about that they come across in their lives and they would do anything for"
he didn’t seem to be in a good mood
me: “smile, do it. smile really big”
later he asked if i was mad because he fell asleep on me
me: “its really hard to be mad at you, even if i was, it’d be impossible to stay mad for a long time”
next morning, woke up to a text from 3am saying he needed to talk to me, said whats up, wrote me an essay that’s abbreviated below.
him : ”i might sleep with this drop dead gorgeous girl, don’t be upset even though we have something. “
he gets mad at me and won’t talk to me anymore because he thinks i don’t care about him and that he doesn’t mean anything to me. i’ve been there for you for two fucking years dude. TWO fucking years, i’ve never invested myself into someone as much as you, i’ve listened to all of your shit about your ex, and your family. Fuck, if you’re done because you’re oblivious to everything i write to you then i’m done because you’re a fucking dumbass.